Envision the person you want to become
Write that person down on paper
Create this person.
Then, every day when you wake up, try to be that person.
These insights are patterns I’ve spotted when working with my top-performing clients.
I’m going to use Alfred Adler’s theory to get this point across, we was a prominent psychologist back in the day, along with Sigmund Freud, and he talked about something he called a “life-lie.”
So, what’s a life-lie? Well, it’s like this excuse you tell yourself, or maybe even others, to dodge those big life tasks that involve friendship, work, and love. It’s the classic blame game – putting the responsibility elsewhere. “It’s because of my past,” or “It’s my circumstances” – sound familiar? These are the kind of excuses that keep you from finding meaningful work, real emotional connections, and friends who genuinely have your back. Instead, you end up seeing everyone as an enemy or competition. You’re trapped in a cycle of blaming others, and it’s holding you back from personal growth.
Adler believed that by clinging to these life-lies, you’re basically avoiding the real issues that need addressing in your life. It’s like trying to fix a leaking roof by rearranging the furniture – it might make you feel like you’re doing something, but it’s not getting to the root of the problem.
The thing is, these excuses can be pretty comforting. They let you off the hook, right? But what they don’t do is help you progress, grow, and become a better version of yourself. It’s like driving with the parking brake on – you’re moving, but you’re not going anywhere.
So, let’s cut the excuses and start focusing on your path. Not your friend’s path, not the path of that Instagram influencer you’re following, but your own unique journey. Here’s where Adler’s wisdom really shines.
He believed that each of us has a unique path in life, and it’s our job to discover it and follow it. But if you keep blaming external factors – your past, your circumstances, or other people – you’re veering off that path.
Think about it like this: if you’re walking in a forest, constantly looking over your shoulder to see what others are doing, you’re going to trip and stumble over your own feet. You need to keep your eyes on your own trail, so you can navigate the terrain and reach your destination.
When you stop with the excuses and focus on your path, incredible things can happen. You’ll start to uncover your true potential, find fulfillment in your work, and form genuine connections with others. Instead of seeing everyone as obstacles or rivals, you’ll see them as potential allies on your journey. You’ll understand that life isn’t a zero-sum game – someone else’s success doesn’t mean your failure.
But let’s be clear: this isn’t about becoming self-centered or selfish. It’s about self-awareness and personal growth. When you’re on your own path, you’ll be in a better position to support and help others, too. You’ll have a sense of purpose that extends beyond just your own ambitions.
And remember, it’s not about comparing yourself to others. We all have different starting points, different challenges, and different goals. Your path might not look like anyone else’s, and that’s perfectly fine. Embrace your uniqueness and use it to your advantage.
Identity change
In order to achieve something you never have, you have to do something you’ve never done.
So, what’s this identity change all about? It’s like becoming a whole new version of yourself. You’re probably wondering, “Who is this person?” Well, you need to figure that out. Create a mental picture of this ideal version of you, and then take the plunge. Step into their shoes.
Now, don’t be surprised if, at the beginning, it feels like you’re putting in some extra effort. It’s normal. Change can be challenging. You’ll have moments when you slip back into your old ways, but that’s alright, as long as you’re making progress. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a new you.
Here’s a little rule of thumb: if you can manage to behave like this ideal person for at least four out of seven days in a week, you’re well on your way to becoming that person. It’s like practicing a new dance routine. The more you rehearse, the smoother it gets.
And here’s the magic part – after a while, it starts to become second nature. You won’t even have to think about it. Your actions will align with this new identity without conscious effort. It’s like muscle memory for your personality.
Think of it this way: you’re not just changing your actions; you’re rewiring your brain. Your thought patterns, reactions, and behaviors all start to line up with that ideal self you’ve envisioned.
It’s like that old saying, “Fake it ’til you make it.” But in this case, it’s more like “Act like it until you become it.” And trust me, it works.
Now, you might be wondering, why all this effort? Well, because the person you are today might not be the person who can achieve those new goals and dreams. You need a fresh perspective, new habits, and a different approach to life. That’s where identity change comes into play.
Take a moment to think about the most successful people you know – whether it’s in business, sports, or any field. They didn’t get there by sticking to who they used to be. They evolved, adapted, and, in a way, became someone else – someone better, more equipped to handle the challenges and opportunities that came their way.
And guess what? You can do it too. You have that power within you. It’s like a secret weapon waiting to be unleashed.
Anti-vision
Anti vision. Something you can also have but don’t always need because it can be a distraction.
It’s like having a vision for what you don’t want, and it’s not something you always need, because it can be a distraction.
You see, knowing what not to do can be just as important as knowing what to do. Charlie Munger, he’s got this down. He’s the guy who says you can make it big, be successful, and get wealthy by simply avoiding the wrong things. It’s like a game of dodgeball – dodge the wrong moves, and you’ll come out on top.
If you’re constantly telling yourself, “Don’t hit a tree, don’t hit a tree,” guess what’s gonna happen? You’ll end up hitting that darn tree! It’s like when you’re driving and all you can think about is not crashing into that lamppost – it’s pretty much a surefire way to crash into it.
So, instead of focusing on what not to do, shift your attention to what you should do. “Follow the path, follow the path” – that’s your new mantra. It’s like driving down a winding road; if you keep your eyes on the path ahead, you’ll naturally steer in the right direction.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. To make things work, you need to run towards something, and I mean really charge at it like a bull seeing red. This thing should be so darn good, so irresistible, that it hones your focus like a laser beam. You won’t need words, you won’t need pep talks, you’ll just do it. You’ll take action, and your reactions will be on point.
It’s like getting tunnel vision, but in a good way. Everything else just fades into the background. You won’t even have to try to push it out or keep it away; it just happens naturally. It’s like when you’re deeply engrossed in a movie, and the real world disappears.
Munger, the wise guy, talks about another gem – the principle of inversion. He says, “All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there.” Now, it might sound a bit dark, but it’s all about solving problems by looking at them from a different angle.
Instead of charging forward and trying to figure out a solution as you go, you start at the end point – where you want to be – and work your way backward. It’s like solving a puzzle in reverse. You know the final picture; now you just need to figure out how to get there.
Imagine you’re baking a cake. You start with the picture of the finished cake in your mind, then you figure out the ingredients, the steps, and the baking time. You reverse engineer the process. That’s the power of inversion.
Leave a Reply